How to Build a Loving, Conscious Relationship

Love is magical. It’s also our biggest mirror and opportunity for growth. You have many choices in life. In serious relationships, you get to choose to be entirely with someone as your partner, or not. My biggest piece of advice for anyone in any type of partnership is to allow this choice to empower you to fully step into your love and relationship. Let it be a choice and a decision based on who you are and how you want to show up to the partnership.

When I met Adi, I was 20 years old and an undergrad at UCLA. We met in a neuroscience class and were in the same study group. Our connection was immediate and intense. At the beginning with Adi, I wasn’t 100% in. I had one foot out the door. He would say something that pissed me off and I would run away to my parent’s house for days or to a friend’s place. I kept this mentality of “one foot out the door” for a really long time. After years of this mentality and behavior, I truly decided to end this and to fully be present and committed to our love, marriage and life. 

This switch in my mental state to fully being in it without one foot out helped our relationship in SO many ways. It strengthened us. I feel so solid and in love and consistent now. Relationships are your CHOICE and DECISION which is EMPOWERING because it’s what you want.

When you discover the passion, fire, and beauty within yourself then the whole world opens up for you. It starts with you. It’s ALL connected. Love will always expand you and challenge you.

I’m sharing my top tools for calling in the partner of your dreams and for strengthening and deepening the love you have.

5 TOOLS FOR CALLING IN YOUR SOUL PARTNER

SCARCITY TO ABUNDANCE MENTALITY

An abundant mindset means telling yourself, “I am MORE than enough.” It believes that have more than enough - more than enough time, money, love, patience, all of it. If you live in a scarcity mindset, you send an energy that says, “No thanks, I don’t need more!”⁣ vs an abundance mindset that says, “OMG this is incredible, I’m open to more!”⁣⁠

GET CRYSTAL CLEAR

For someone still searching for their “one”, imagine your partner, like really envision down to every detail the kind of partner you want by your side. What do you desire in a partner? Someone who is kind? Someone who is so funny they make you pee when you laugh? Someone who wants to make a real difference in the world? Someone who believes in you?

DO THE WORK

It’s not enough to simply imagine your dream partner. You have to put in the work. Like attracts life. We can only manifest the qualities we admire that we also possess. If you want a kind and loving partner then you must also be one in the world.

DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmations are a beautiful practice to attract a soulmate to your life. ​​Soulmate affirmations are designed to call in your partner through the Law of Attraction, and they can do so quickly if you commit to them and do the other work to attract your partner! Affirmations like: “My heart is open to giving and receiving love,” “I have attracted the most loving person into my life,” and “I release the past and let love flow into my life.”

IMMERSE YOURSELF IN THE THINGS YOU LOVE

By enjoying the things you love then meeting someone through these experiences then you’re setting up your relationship for success. When you’re doing things that interest you and that you truly enjoy, you’ll naturally find a person who matches your lifestyle.

5 TIPS FOR STRENGTHENING & DEEPENING THE PARTNERSHIP YOU’RE IN

RADICAL TRANSPARENCY

If you know us at all then you know this is what we’re all about and share in our IGNTD podcast! It’s the way we communicate within our relationship and builds residency for the long haul. Being radically transparent builds DEEP TRUST but it’s a practice like yoga or meditation, you have to keep showing up and leaning in. It keeps you authentic. Watch our IG video here more about it!

DATE NIGHT

Have a babysitter/mom/dad/neighbor/aunt/bestie come for a weekly date night. Make it a non-negotiable.  Try new places, do new things and make it fun. Double date with inspiring couples who are in mad love and respect each other. If you’re not able to get a sitter, make a date night at home when your kids go to bed. Treat yourselves to dessert, watch a movie and go all out.

DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT OR DO YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

You need to ask yourself, “Do you want your relationship to thrive, or do you want to be right?” Sometimes it’s simply the choice between “winning” and argument or being kind and supportive. Lean in. And if you’re the thick of it? Take some time for space just like you would do if your kids were fighting. Parents need a “timeout” sometimes too! Go for a walk. Take a break. Go do something that makes you feel good that allows you to disengage from the argument and release some of the wounds. Own your emotions and feelings and trust that your partner can support them and show up to you. Adi and I go back to this phrase over and over again, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?”

CHECK-INS

Save this photo for this check you can do with your partner daily or as often as you need to align and connect. We picked evenings after the baby is asleep when we know the older boys are able to play independently or watch a show. During our check-ins, we let one person speak about whatever they want to share without judgment or speaking. Just HEARING and holding space for them. Then the other shares. It’s so nice to just be held and heard. We’ve realized going out for a walk is also an easy, DAILY way to check-in and have time together

DO THE WORK 

Relationships don’t work unless you do. Come back to your toolbox whenever you need it without shame or guilt. This means therapists, healers, coaches, inner work and others you trust. Write down what’s on your heart when you’re frustrated and then share when you are less upset.